I FEEL LIKE...I HAVE TO GET THIS OFF MY CHEST SOMEHOW

Screaming my fucking head off! Seriously if its not one thing happening in my life its the other. I'm tired of not getting things that I need in order to grow or become a better person in life as a whole and I don't mean like I need all this material shit, being greedy sort of way but like the little things. I wont start blabbing about in a blog. I'm tired of people acting shady...Like the saying goes "I scratch your back you scratch mines" I'M TIRED OF DOING FUCKING FAVORS FOR PEOPLE AND THEY NOT RETURN THE DAMN FAVOR! I'M SICK OF IT! I don't mind helping people when they need it trust me I would be no mind to help ANYONE out...but when it becomes consistent and you only talk to me when you NEED something done or your rushed for time or some shit like that. Its little shit like that, that pisses me off.
I'm tired of having to tip-toe around people not to get them mad, or not getting my point across. Trying to be the bigger person out of the situation(in which half of the time its with a person older than me in which I'm having the argument with) Then I later regret not saying what was on my mind days later. I'm tired of feeling like that
I'm sick of not living the way I want to live I'm 18 years old these should be the best years of my life! But their not. I know what I need do to in order to change it but Its not that SIMPLE
I cant even remember what I did when I was 17/18 I just let myself go....
So now adays I hardly talk to anyone because it seems time after time someone close to me lets me down or someones stealing from me or lying. I rather just not get hurt